Top 10 barriers to successful dating
As a dating coach and executive matchmaker, I talk to A LOT of people about their experiences in dating. I’ve collated the data and am bringing you up to speed on the top 10 barriers to successful dating.
1.
Judging a book by the cover: you really can’t tell if you’re going to be attracted to a person by their photo… you can only tell if they are “your (typical) type” at that stage.
2.
Unrealistic expectations: I know that you may have been dating for a while and you know what you want… but be careful not to fall into the trap of overly high expectations - nobody is perfect and you should always be open to embrace differences.
3.
Poor communication: this is a really big one! As a matchmaker and dating coach, I hear this one A LOT. When inconsistent comms is coming from one end, it automatically triggers the other person and they feel like you are diss-interested and will move on. Get into the practice of texting.
4.
Fear of rejection: this is a killer and stops us from even making the first, or second step. Remember that rejection is not a reflection of your self-worth.
5.
Time constraints: Make time for dating! If you want to be in a relationship then you need to prioritise some time to do that.
6.
Overthinking: keep it simple and don’t overanalyse every little detail.
7.
Fear of commitment: take it slow and let the trust and the connection build.
8.
Allowing room for the red flags: picture this... you're spending time with a person who has shown you time and time again elements to them that you do not agree with. Your intuition kicks in and you have an annoying feeling in your gut. You know that it's not feeling right, but you like this person, you're attracted to them and they seem to like you back, so you keep spending time with them. The ultimate outcome to this is that you realise it's not for you something big happens and you end up hurt. Who else has been here?
9.
Not focusing on one person: I get it, meeting new people is easy. You can jump on Hinge and have 10 people ready to talk to you overnight. But when you’re talking to multiple people at a time, you could be missing out on the real substance that you’d be wanting in one person. Practice giving adequate time to only one person at a time to see if there is an actual connection there.
10.
Not being able to identify whether you’re just attracted or connecting emotionally with someone: this is when you are super physically attracted to someone and things are kept at a high level, rather than getting deeper and more meaningful. This is how we get into situationships!
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